Spiritual Direction: A Safe Place to Be Real - By Valerie Roberts
A Safe Place to Be Real
BY VALERIE ROBERTS
Since starting my spiritual direction journey just over thirty years ago, I have travelled with four different spiritual directors.
I didn’t know anything about the contemplative practice of spiritual direction when I first visited a spiritual director during a particularly difficult time and had a life-changing experience. God led me to this person, who I hardly knew, when I cried out in desperation for help. We quickly established a routine of regular spiritual direction conversations where I found new hope.
I began to discover that I am actually a contemplative at heart, and that there was this new way of being with God that really fed my soul.
Each director has been the right fit for the particular season, companioning me on a roller coaster ride with God through depression, doubt, deep inner growth, journeying with my inner child, and the deconstruction and reconstruction of my faith.
Part way through this time, I did the Spiritual Directors Formation Programme to become a spiritual director myself — and my world was thrown open even wider.
Layers continued to come off. Constricting, unhelpful beliefs and narratives were discarded and replaced with more healthy and nourishing understandings of God, myself and the world. Listening to directees necessitates me facing my own stuff.
This process has been possible because of the genuine empathy, Godly discernment and guidance of my spiritual directors. This sometimes takes me to uncomfortable edges that I may not choose to navigate on my own.
Having a safe space to talk, to cry, to rage, to draw, to dance, to reflect — in order to go to deeper places in myself and find God there — has facilitated my growth into greater authenticity and acceptance.
Experimenting with creative tools and rituals to prayerfully embody the process has taken me to a greater place of peace and connection that I struggled to find in my early faith journey.
All this has allowed me to discover and grow the gifts that I can offer in companioning others on their journeys. I know I would not be who I am today without spiritual direction in my life.
Valerie Roberts is a spiritual director living on the Kapiti Coast enjoying her grandchildren and pursuing a quieter life. She loves facilitating retreats and contemplative mornings. Her passion is sharing her love for creation, creativity, wellbeing and God.
Want to know more about spiritual direction?
Explore the 25th anniversary special edition of Refresh, dedicated to spiritual direction.
Through stories, reflections, wisdom and poetry, contributors from Aotearoa New Zealand and beyond open a window into this treasured contemplative practice — whether you’re discovering spiritual direction for the first time or have journeyed with it for many years.
Explore the special edition of Refresh →
